


Moon.

by youxiaotu



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: : ), M/M, but my 2 braincells can't describe things properly, emo fic therefore its angst, good luck this is my 95845th emo fic, honestly idk why i wrote this but : ), some characters only mentioned briefly, zhengting as the sun and xukun as the moon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-01 00:47:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15131402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youxiaotu/pseuds/youxiaotu
Summary: The moon could only reflect the light of the sun.





	Moon.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bttmzzt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bttmzzt/gifts).



> _For the Ares yesterday that worries about tomorrow and for Apple that loves making me feel emo so she deserves emo from me too >:(_
> 
>  
> 
> Wrote while listening to 《水星记》 cover by Dinghao (on loop bc im a wild child) while writing this.  
> Storyline slightly inspired by the song btw.
> 
> almost 3k of sun and moon and stars and galaxy.

_The moon has always been meant to be alone from the start, despite the earth neighbouring him, nearly holding his hand. All he could do was stare at it, showing it several faces of himself, breathtaking yet never the genuine one. Worried that his weaknesses will make him less acceptable, or less admirable._

Xukun could clearly hear Zhengting's laugh echoes the room as Minghao and Linong animatedly narrate their adventures on the theme park, Chengcheng's misfortunes, Linkai's screaming and how Zhangjing and Yanjun were regretting ever bringing the four of them along in their little field trip. For Xukun who never really had the time to have fun, it felt so foreign- All he ever knew was to be buried in words and numbers and theories that nobody normally understands.

He always longed for a friendship like that. A friendship that lets him say what he feels, a friendship that isn't for the benefit of one or both sides, a friendship created not because they were forced but fated. Longing for a strong bond that will never break.

He knew he should be content of what he has- All these books, proud praises from everyone, people envying him of his capabilities- telling him how they wanted to be him so badly.

So perfect, so beautiful. That was Cai Xukun, a genius in maths, arts and sciences, able to speak English fluently and more. But why is it that when they speak of him, those few things about him would be the only things that come up? Why do they only remember him for being so brilliant and excellent, not for being so gentle, kind, or helpful?

To others, it might feel like it's a blessing if they could be him for a day but for Cai Xukun, it's just lonely, knowing that in the galaxy of stars, he's nothing more than the earth's lonely moon, revolving around it as it revolves around the sun.

_The sun has always been bright especially when he smiles, soft, gentle voice whispering words that sound a lot like encouragement to go with it. Voice travelling lightyears and lightyears away, reaching out to everyone, from the shining stars, the liveliest and loneliest of the planets, to all the places in the vast universe, both known and unknown, to the brightest and darkest. Reaching out to the lonely moon revolving ever so slowly, gently reminding him that he's never alone, not when he's around, not when his brightness will lead the way._

"Xukun," He calls, waving at him as he passes by. "Hello." Greeting him with a toothy smile and his sweet, sweet voice, gesturing him to sit beside him like he's known him forever. He follows, replying back with a smile on his face and sitting beside the said man. Zhengting stretches his hand out for a handshake. "Zhengting. Remember? We're classmates in a few subjects." His smile doesn't fade despite the awkward vibe starting to surround them. "I've always wanted to be friends with you- I mean, if that's okay with you."

Zhengting was adored for things Xukun wasn't- For his pretty almond eyes and smile that infects the whole place, his cotton candy voice that sounds so, so sweet, his captivating dances and the beautiful arcs his body creates when he does. Graceful, light, beautiful.

He doesn't know how he'd respond to Zhengting. He longs for somebody, yet why is it that now he's being offered company- friendship, he has doubts? Why does he fret about something he yearns for the most?

It took him a while before he manages to reply an "Okay," Reciprocating the handshake. "Friends."

Since then, Zhengting's been a part of his life. The only person who witnessed that there's more to him than the genius they labelled him as. That Cai Xukun is just a human that laughs and cries just like them. That he also faces hardships and that he worries a lot about him and his future.

_They were both breathtaking to the earth, except the warm vibe was just a lot more pleasing than the coldness, the darkness, the loneliness that the night brings- That the moon might be beautiful, but it was never able to light the sky up unlike the sun._

_They always wished the day would be longer, so they could do more things. Enjoy a lot more activities without ever worrying about what happens in the dark._

_Without ever feeling the quiet loneliness that the moon would bring._

And Zhu Zhengting is human too. Hiding behind his ethereal smiles was the pressure of the expectations that he has to uphold. Xukun thought he's had it easy, that like a true sun, he didn't have any problems shining.

_Not knowing the sun is also lonely, being so close, yet so far._

_After finding out, the moon wants to whisper back the same exact words the sun would always whisper. Voice travelling lightyears and lightyears away, reaching out to everyone, from the shining stars, the liveliest and loneliest of the planets, to all the places in the vast universe, both known and unknown, to the brightest and darkest. Reaching out to the lonely moon revolving ever so slowly, gently reminding him that he's never alone, not when he's around. That he will keep him company, no matter how far- how different he is from him._

_How lucky are the planets that seem so distant yet are only a fingertip away from him?_

_How lucky are the stars that are able to shine so brightly beside him?_

He thinks that he's lucky that he's able to meet Zhengting. That he got the chance to meet the sun.

_Listening to the sun, both rosy and words that bring tears to its eyes. All he could offer is his shoulders as he listens to each and every word._

_The moon is happy. A company that he's been longing for a long, long time, embracing him despite the coldness that surrounds him. Silently humming, his light gently caressing his face, sharing his brilliance with him, kissing him softly, whispering rosy words, confessing his adoration for him, admiring him both in his darkest and brightest moments. Comforting him and drying his tears with the warmth that radiates from him._

It just happened- like it was just a natural occurrence that their once friendly smiles were something else, that their hellos sound a little different from how it was a while ago, that their hands find each other's so easily.

A friendship that blossomed into something more, few people that once only knew him by name now knows and admires him for who he is.

_The moon doesn't feel so lonely anymore._

There were no questions, quietly moving along the tide. It was understood that they love each other- everyone understood.

Under the moonlight, the both of them talking just about anything as always. He tells him about how he thought of him as the sun- So bright, so wonderful, so loved and that he was unreachable. That he was so unlucky that every time he tried, he can't. How it was so hard and-

"I'm here now," He whispers against his lips, "I'll never leave you." He says before planting a quick kiss on his lips.

"You promise?"

"I promise, Kun. I'll do anything to be with you."

_The moon and the sun can hear each other, see each other, but never be beside each other. No matter how many times they attempt to get closer, no matter how many times they reach for each other. Voices that comforted each other. Light that kissed the moon's face, making it brighter than it ever was the previous night._

_The sun can only whisper apologies just as how the moon would do the same._

_For dragging him back down, keeping him in one place when he should be shining everywhere- even brighter than he could. Bringing more warmth, longer, stronger, making the earth happy and free of problems because everything else dissolves under the sun like it was a cure unknown._

Tears filled Xukun's shirt, Zhengting's face buried on his shoulder as he repeatedly apologizes when it wasn't his fault. "I-I'm so s-sorry, baby. I-" He was cut off when Xukun lifts his head and pulls him in for a kiss. Hard, deep, with a hint of saltiness due to the boy's tears.

Don't say sorry, he wants to say, yet the words never found their way out of his lips. Instead, replacing them with thousands of small kisses peppered around the boy's face.

"Look," He pauses to look at Zhengting in the eye. "I'll be waiting here, hm?" He takes the other's hand, kissing the back of his hand before resting his cheek against it. Xukun gives him an assuring smile as if saying everything would be okay.

Holding onto him tightly, teary, pouty. "I don't wanna leave anymore, Kun. I don't want anything else but you."

But it was Zhengting's dream, many years in Seoul School of Performing Arts was something he really aimed for from the start. "It's your dream."

"I'll throw it away for yo-"

"Zhengting."

"I told you I won't leave you-"

"Baby."

"No. Please, Kun."

"It's your dream. You wanted this, right?" Zhengting could only nod slowly, it was true after all. He wanted to get in so badly- he's been working on it since the beginning.

Before he and Xukun even knew each other. Before he fell in love with the man in front of him, with the man who makes him feel like he's even brighter than the sun itself. The man that not only brings a smile on his face but makes him feel like every day, there is something to look forward to other than dancing, other than reading books that he both does and does not understand, other than seeing his friends bicker around about things that he never understood.

That his life stops feeling like a routine of pleasing people and dancing and smiling and being good. That it was okay to cry, and it's okay to be weak sometimes.

"Then do it. Please don't make me your excuse to give up on such opportunity, 'Ting." It was not that he didn't want to.

_The moon lets go of the sun that gave him brightness knowing that the sun will shine brighter that way._

And as if it was just a natural occurrence, the sun slips out of the moon's grasp.

Xukun tries to give himself different kinds of excuses. From Zhengting's school activities, dance practice, studies. Zhengting is still waiting for him and he's sure of that.

Calls that used to be an hour long shorter, messages that used to be in paragraphs now barely even two lines. He's slowly getting worried. What if Zhengting never comes back like he promised? What if Zhengting never... loved him the same way he did?

What if he doesn't keep his promise?

He promised. but promises are meant to be broken just like how rules are.

Buried in books, excelling in everything. That was all he could do as he waits for Zhengting to come back. Graduating, going to college, graduating college. Two years have passed yet he's never heard of Zhengting and what Zhengting's been doing or if he's even still alive.

Even Linkai and Minghao who both are the closest to him doesn't have a clue on where he is or what he's doing.

Has he truly just disappeared like that?

_The moon is meant to chase the sun, always a fingertip away from him yet he never does because when the moon rises, the sun disappears and no matter how much he tries to stay, he'd fall back into a deep slumber, recalling the same words that always encouraged him, imagining the sun caressing his face with the same beautiful light he uses to shine._

Six years have passed and in front of him is a different Zhu Zhengting, speaking to him like they never held each other's hands, or kissed. Same hands holding another man's and same lips giving the said man a kiss on the cheek.

_The sun was never the moon's._

"'Ting." His voice was soft, hurt evident in his expression. He waited so long for this day to come only to be disappointed. Waiting for someone who didn't even wait for him.

"You promised."

"I fell in love."

"And you weren't with me?" Tears threatening to spill from his eyes as he speaks. He cannot cry right now.

"We were kids, Kun."

"And so you disappear completely and come back only to tell me this?" He's angry and heartbroken.

"Sorry."

He gives him a nod and a small smile, trying his best to look like everything is okay again. "Alright. Sorry for bothering you, 'Ting. Congratulations." Turning back, a burning pain in his chest as he walks away. Further and further from him.

"I'm sorry, _Moon_." He hears Zhengting from afar, but it was too late to take one last look at him for he's already vanished.

The moon vanishes as soon as the sun comes up.

Xukun is Zhengting's first love, the boy wearing semi-round glasses, pretty freckles decorating his face. Adored by all for excelling in almost everything, trying to please people, showing only the pretty sides of himself.

They were the same except they were also different. Zhengting's always been selfish, often forgetting others for his own sake without even realizing it and Xukun is selfless, sometimes too selfless that he doesn't even know that he's being taken advantage of.

Like him, Ziyi is also a selfless man- Maybe even more than Xukun. Giving up the most important opportunities when he could've just let everybody be that person on the top. The boy with such sharp eyes and a pretty smirk on his face, but eyes filled with worry and hands filled with care.

Zhengting was lucky that Ziyi likes him back- of all the people he could've been with- All people that declared their love to him, he chose him. He's so happy that his days are always filled with smiles and flowers since Ziyi but did Zhengting do the right thing to slowly just... slip away from Xukun?

Seeing Xukun's back slowly disappearing through the crowd, Zhengting doesn't know whether he's made the right decision or not.

_And the moon goes back rotating for the earth like it never stopped, pleasing, smiling, showing only it's prettiest sides. The sun continues shining like nothing ever happened, cotton candy clouds starting to cover the earth._

Linkai didn't need to look up to know that it was Zhengting that Linong let in their shared apartment. Hearing the both of them greet each other loudly was just enough to know how glad they are to be able to see each other again. Six years, six years is a pretty long time.

Hearing Zhengting mentioning Xukun was quite surprising. After all the times he tries to mention the man, Zhengting would usually try his best to divert the topics, probably guilty about making them keep a secret from Xukun. That he didn't want them to tell him anything about him as if he just suddenly disappeared. That he didn't want to hurt him when the truth is that he's already hurt him whether they tell him or not.

Linong's smile fades when Zhengting asks them if they know of Xukun's whereabouts, or what he's doing, or if he's even alive.

"You just said you've seen him recently..." Linong trails off, voice fading as he looks at the table like there was something interesting about it all of a sudden. Linkai doesn't know how to answer because none of them really knew.

Taking a deep breath before he speaks, "Gone. Zhangjing said he left early in the morning yesterday. No one knew where he went, Zhengting."

"Oh."

"I told you already," Linong murmurs. "I told you, 'Ting. I feel like I hurt him a lot, too."

"I'm sorry for bringing you both into this."

"It's okay, 'Ting." Linkai assures, a half-forced smile on his face. "I just hope Xukun's alright." Linong nods, reaching out to grab Linkai's hand.

_Sadly, even if the Sun chases the moon this time, no matter what they do, the moon and the sun could never meet again._

He needed a break. A break from work, friends, life,

Zhengting.

Looking down from the edge of the cliff and seeing the pretty blue sea underneath him, Xukun manages a smile before he inhales a deep breath, taking out his phone and typing out words that he always, always wanted to say before putting it down.

**I love you, sun. Always.**

_They were never meant to meet anyways. Especially since the moon took a long, long break._

_Without the sun, the moon loses its brightness._

**Author's Note:**

> twt: @henghenghahee in case u want to scream at me or like tell me to "start writing august's chapter 2 u dumb" or "b i tc like finish ur other wips? u have 25 on ur notepad and 8 on ur online notepad and most of them are zhengkun(yi) that u diTCHED for other pairings u loser"
> 
> p.s: apple i love u im so sorry for filling ur dms with a v angsty "little family" arc that we'd probably not write anyways and for making people huge psychos also im so sorry for doing this to kun and to zhengting and to everyone else honestly i feel bad  
> also chRIS thanks for reading this and for letting urself be emo (#2) before everyone else sdfjlks


End file.
